I have never hidden the fact that at one time I abused alcohol. In fact I abused it for so long that when I eventually stopped, the withdrawal was direct from a horror fillm. Before you judge me, read ‘Rattling.’ Read how for a period of time my life was filled with such negativity and adversity brought about by a father who saw fit to send me, on an almost daily basis via taxis to my home, such vile ranting scripts that included his plans to have me sent to prison (for what reason, you tell me?) and that I was going to get special treatment from the lads in the shower and I quote, “you know what they will do to someone like you in prison.”
And that wasn’t the worst of his attempts. No, his lowest came when he wrote to say he knew how much my children hated me and that I should sell my dogs too.. My children, the ones I adore so much. My dogs, the ones I have had since they were pups.
Of course he knew where to hit me as I was already weakened from the loss of our business, the repossession of our home and the selling of our cars.
Cheap van and rented house awaited and so yes, I drank daily.I was so, so lucky to have a wife like Julie who reached her own breaking point (with me I must add), but she pushed past that and slowly made me better.
I was a lucky one, I got to it before it got to me and nowadays enjoy a glass of wine for what it is, but never again for a coping mechanism, a crutch.
Months after my feet ‘died’ from the abuse and I could hardly walk, I pulled myself together enough to to fight for a fourth black belt, but what I saw before that was a terror so bad people think I made it up. Trust me, you couldn’t make up the visions I had.
So I’d ask that you please don’t judge me, just read a man’s honest account of how he fell. And how he got up again.
‘Rattling’ is available to read for free here
The true story An Everyday Warrior is available in paperback, Kindle and audiobook at all good retailers including Amazon here