Fear, False Evidence Appearing Real.

Training, sparring and fighting can all bring about different levels of fear.

Fear, False Evidence Appearing Real. I thought it might be nice to head back in time to the very first article I ever had published. F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real was written with the encouragement of Geoff Thompson and published by Bob Sykes in Martial Arts Illustrated.

It is raw, not exactly a masterpiece and could do with a haircut, but it was my first serious attempt at writing, and I think for a first attempt to make it into a major magazine wasn't too bad at all.

Told by my father to forget the Creative Writing course in College and to "get into the factory," it was many years before somebody other than Julie believed in my writing, and it became a catalyst for future things, so here in its entirety, warts and all, is F.E.A.R.

Fear

False Evidence Appearing Real

A personal history by Simon Morrell

In my own experience, I have plenty to be afraid of. This has ranged from schooldays when I was bullied, threatened with knives, spat at and beaten up (this was by the teachers).

This kind of adolescence led to anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, keeping me indoors and shrinking my comfort zone. With years of research and help, I conquered my fear of the outside world and began my martial arts journey.

Real Fear, an e-book by Simon Morrell

Later, fear arose from tough gradings, hard courses, full-contact sparring with professionals, and grappling with champions. Teaching seminars, opening my gym, and applying to a top self-defence association brought new anxieties. Acceptance meant proving myself and travelling to train with world-class instructors.

Outside the’ controlled’ environment, fear was brought on by dealing with and defeating a drug dealer and his company of friends, after a dispute lasting over two years. The drug dealings were his, not mine. My dispute against this man was unconnected to his activities. Threats were made by him; his threats were overcome by me. Face-offs were instigated by him and his; those same face-offs were won by me, by controlling fear, not showing fear, but instilling fear in him and his gang.

It was a very scary time for me; I do not wish to sound clever about this. But any chink in their armour, I would expose and play on it. With great difficulty at first, but gradually at first, but gradually it became easier. I was able to disguise my own weaknesses and fears (there were many).

Things came to a head when, after two and a half years of minor altercations and veiled threats on their part, a full-scale showdown became inevitable.

They came mob-handed to my house, to the tune of seven to my two. My two being my wife and me. Fear for me was at an all-time high, and all my training in controlling it was ready to leave me. I couldn’t afford to let this happen (this was my house with two young children inside. Standing my ground, being aggressive and more threatening to them, it was apparent that not one of them had what it takes to be first (why bother turning up in the first place). The safety in numbers philosophy backfired when they all realised that they couldn’t rely on each other for backup and that apparently I wasn’t bothered by them(nothing was further from the truth). When push came to shove, none of them would meet my challenge. They went away with their tail between their legs.

Simon now teaches seminars and public speaking events.

The outcome of this conflict was that the group fell out with each other,the main dealer was left to face up to me on his own, causing him, in the end, to leave the area, moving to the other side of the country, leaving no forwarding address.

The showdowns were never won by not feeling fear. This can never happen. The sooner it is accepted that fear is present in every confrontation, the easier it is to start learning to control fear. The goal of this story is not to try to impress you with bravado. There wasn’t one time when I didn’t want the conflict to end, not one day when I didn’t wake up scared. It is to show you that if you can steel yourself, hide your fear, unavoidable conflict can be won, if I can do it, anyone can.

Further ‘live’ confrontation/fear management has even learnt through dealing with ex-employees, who left the job on bad terms, making threats against my family and me. Once again, face-to-face situations were resolved by controlling fear and not allowing opponents to gain the upper hand. Instead of taking the initiative, let them know that any threats would be met. This usually resulted in a back down for said people. Even the business of teaching/training self-protection in a small town results in threats and noise being made by local so-called ‘hardmen’. Letting them know I was willing to meet with them, and accept any challenge they cared to throw, whilst at the same time getting the message through to them that confrontation is what I trained for, even though admitting to myself it wasn’t what I wanted, resulted in yet another backdown, with apologies sent. The purpose of this section is to demonstrate that with a healthy respect for fear, but not allowing it to dominate you, coupled with the correct hard training, confrontation can be won. Not won easily, it is never easy, but won nonetheless.

The ‘live’ situations, the ones that happen when people have no regard for another human being, no ethics or code, should, if possible, be avoided. If avoidance isn’t an option, deal with them quickly and move on with your life, drawing from the experience.

The situations that you create to better yourself, opening your own business, starting a martial art, learning to grapple or spar, etc., will create a feeling of fear. You will tell yourself you are not good enough to do this or that. You are wrong, you are good enough. If you are willing to try, to dare to step that bit further, to work the extra hour, train that bit harder, and generally put yourself out there, then the rewards are yours. There will be failing points, points that it takes everything you have to keep trying, but by daring to be better, you have already passed more tests than most people will ever bother taking.

The result of my fear and my willingness to try to control it has led me to be a 6th Dan black belt with the most respected association around. I own my own full-time gym and dojo, teaching people how to defend themselves, compete, spar, wrestle, but most of all to overcome their fears. I have been lucky enough to make some great friends, and more and more I am being asked to teach my findings to a more widespread audience than the two students I started with at a community centre some years ago. I have taught men, women, and children, police officers, professional boxers, wrestlers, doormen and security personnel.

Simon's award-winning books.

Likewise, I have been taught, and continue to be taught, by some of the leading instructors in the world, including martial artists, boxers, doormen, and bodyguards.

Every time I do so, I feel fear; every time.

If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.

Simon Morrell is the author of ‘From Bullied To Black Belt’ (available now) and ‘An Everyday Warrior' (available on Kindle). Both books are based on his life story and are currently being made into a feature film. All his books are available in paperback and digital download here

He is also available for Martial Art/Self-Protection/Krav Maga Seminars and non-Martial Arts inspirational seminars on Fear Control and achieving your goals in your life. Please WhatsApp Julie on 07484 331572 or email info@simonmorrell.com for availability.